In Two

As they sat there looking out over the cattails in his beat up green Ford, she was glad for the worn cloth seats. Her black shorts clung to her chunky legs and the t-shirt she spend too long picking out was wet with her sweat. It stuck to the small of her back and her knew she would have the dark semi circles of perspiration under her pits and her boobs. She wanted to look like she didn't care, that she has thrown on any old thing, but truth was she went through her closet, and the laundry hamper, and then her sisters clothes for a good part of the morning. The windows in his truck were rolled all the way down, but there was no breeze coming off the lake to cut the humidity. Thank goodness the trucks seat was cloth so old she could not distinguish the pattern, vinyl would have made it look like she peed herself. She looked down at her legs, thinking she at least had some tan, but remembered she was wearing the cheap sunglasses.
"Click"
The noise came from the drivers seat, she turned the opposite way to look out the window away from him.
"Click"
She knew that noise. She new that noise all too well. When he first made that sound with his tongue against the roof of his mouth, she thought that was the sign he was horny.
They had been sitting on his brothers couch watching two TVs at once. The one on the right had some old movie playing. The screen on the left flickered porn. She was loaded and had to go to the bathroom, but the couch was wide and soft and she didn't think her legs would carry her. So there she sat, trying to focus her eyes on one screen or the other.
"Click"
The sound came from her left then too.
"Do you think that is wrong?" He had meant the bad scene being played in front of them. She thought he was talking about watching two TVs at once. So she dumbly shook her head no, she had never seen a skin flick before and wished she had something to drink to cut the sticky sweet taste in her mouth.
He was sweet and gentle when he helped her get to her feet and then to the bathroom. And unlike the images a few feet away from them, she didn't need to fake her pleasure, when he guided her back to the couch.

In too Deep

When the girl turned around toward him sitting there back at the table, long legs stretched out in from of him, he was looking through the crowd right at her. Looking at her as if she were a piece of meat, and he had not eaten in a very long time. His look was so intense, it took the girl a moment to recognize who was staring at her. The leer on his face changed into a smirk, when the girl, now self conscious in her heels, wobbled comically as she swiveled away. All she had wanted was a place to set down her drink. That is not the face a friend sees of another.
Later, back on his couch they had sat on together a million times, she let him kiss her, gentle. It was the face he showed her then, the wide open one without a mask that scared her most.

He Tried with His Rod

He tried his best. He jammed and poked and prodded, grunting all the time. The cops interupted him just as he got his slim jim in the right spot to open her jeep door.

He Tried Ratty

He tried talking her into longer saying her hair was to messed up now to go out in public. So they both cuddled up pretending to sleep till they could delay no longer.

He Tried Visually

He tried to get her to notice his big blue eyes when ever she was near by opening them very very wide. She always thought he resembled ET.

He Tried Like a Schoolboy

He tried to get her to drive him to school by missing the bus. But never again when she walked him to the school door in her jammies.

He Tried with No Results

He tried to tell her he loved her, but did not know how or confidence. So he told her a woman's place was in the kitchen or the bedroom because heated words were at least something.

He Tried Making Time

He tried to get her to wake up before sunrise to go fishing by changing the real time on the alarm clock to read 7:30 am. She tossed the noise piece off the end of the dark dock.

He Tried with Sparks

He tried to talk her into going to school to become an electrician. Lightning storms scare her less than outlets.

He Tried Audibly

When he tried to get her to work for his karaoke business on the week end, she told him she would feel more comfortable appearing in front of a crowd naked. Because at least she had some experience there.

He Tried Pumpin the Gun

He tried seducing her with his muscle, it worked cuz there is no bigger muscle on the human body than the brain.

He Tried With Steak

So when the young man tried to sell her frozen beef from the back of his van, she pointed to her cows and asked him if he wanted to buy fresh beef from her yard.

So He Tried Control

So he tried to make it in to the house from the back pasture in time, but lost if about halfway. When she found the poopy Telly-Tubby under ware hanging on a bush almost out of sight, she threw them in the fire pit where no one would ever see.

He Tried Indian Style

The beautiful man tried to take her back to the reservation so they could have sex next to his passed out mother who was snoring on the floor, but she pretended she seen a windigo through the curtainless window and scared the passion right out of him.

He Tried Pervert

So when he tried for pull his picture ID out of his wallet to get into the prison for a job interview, the girl seen the pornographic image in the plastic sleeve and told the creep no.

Cherries

All I wanted was to get home. Get home as fast as possible. I set the cruise control for 85 after I put on the rock star over sized sun glasses I had bought for my vacation and headed south back towards the city. When I passed the unmarked car on the left, I could of stepped on my breaks and try to avoid any trouble If I knew where my head was at.
The nice young officer let my fly past him and just keep going. And that's exactly what I did. I owned the fast lane never slowing down for a good 5 more miles to the North Branch exit. When I seen him close behind me I pulled to the far right turning the Jeep off and waited.
Officer Erickson more than likely had all ready radioed in my plates. He tipped his hat after cautiously approaching my car and exchanged pleasantries.
"Where are you going in such a hurry ma'am?'
I looked at him and smiled a tired smile but gave him no answer. I had no answer to give.
"Do you have any idea how fast you were moving?", he tries again.
I can answer that, and I do. Officer Erickson is giving me the optic field drug test as I say, "85".
"And where are you going?"
I do not know. I have been on the road for the past three weeks. Some times I am at two, some times three different prison facilities. And they all want me. They want my answers. The want my attention. They want my shoulders. They want my ears. All at the same time. I want nothing of them.
"You coming from Rush City?" The patrol man has spotted my state ID and his voice takes on a softer tone.
I nod and repeat Rush City like an amnesia recovering parrot.
Rush City is a small down full of old pick up and rednecks. The heavy security prison is built in the middle of a corn field and full of the angriest men alive. They are young and mean, unaccepting that they will spend the rest of their days behind bars and eager to fight. The entire town works at the prison. Drive down main street, past the gun store, and the hardware store, after the bakery turning left at the grain elevator any there you will find one of Dante's seven levels of hell.
"Aren't you in the middle of a lock down there?"
"South C found a 13 inch shank make out of a dust mop head", I answer knowing the entire town listens to the police scanners, not just the police officers.
"Hell, I'd be getting my ass out of there in a hurry too", the officer grunts.
It is common ground and I see my hope. I could tell him I was on my way to pick up supplies from Oak Park, or Stillwater, Lino for that matter, if I wanted to put any effort into a lie. But I am burned out and sick of lies. When he stopped me I had no idea where I was or where I was headed. The sun was either rising or setting and I was either coming or going.
"You know officer Kranz?"
"I couldn't tell ya. I just started there so he could be fabulous or an asshole."
The officer laughs.
I wanted to tell him I was in Jamaica when he pulled me over. My mind was on the man I left back on the island and I was unaccounted for. Throw me in a nice quite country jail some where and give me a chance to think.
"Slow down now and stay safe."
To late.

The Man I Love With All My Heart Trevor

I have fallen head over heels in love with an extreme fighter named Trevor. Trevor smells of testosterone and gym mats.
His beautiful face but not his ginormous shoulders are hidden behind the menu as he reads ever so slowly.
"Swiss steak with choice of potato and vegetable. What kind of animal do you think they make Swiss steak out of?"
"Beef."
I want to explain how they make it, but know his attention span would be strained if I went into the carb detail involved with this dish.
I tell him to order the New York strip to be as safe as someone in his profession can be.
He loves me for more than my nutrition knowledge I tell myself.
"Do you want my potatoes?", Trevor inquires ever so thoughtfully. "Do I have to get the potatoes if it says so on the menu?"
I tell him no, he can do what ever he wants. But I leave off the "to me " part.
Trevor talks of his fighting techniques as we wait for our protein laden food. He uses strange Oriental terminology in his husky voice and it is my turn to look blank and nod vaguely. I squeal when he puts his invisible opponent in a head hold acting out a particularly good match..
"So how bout it, he finally asks once we have leaned back like full snakes, you wanna come watch me fight? My uncle and I have a competition next Thursday, wanna go?"
I ask my iron man how old is his uncle.
"24."
I cry and cry because I did not order dessert and show this baby what real risk is.

The Man I Love With All My Heart Tim

I have fallen head over heels in love with my awkward young assistant Tim. Tim smells of slight perspiration and Mt. Dew. Tim wants to hate me because I got the director's job instead of him, but he is too divine to feel that strong.
Tim is unsure where to walk when we are together. I make it hard for him to pace his giraffe strides to mine and I expect him to let me walk ahead of him into every room. Except I am so new I do not know where I am going and hate to have Tim tell me anything, he is my bitch after all. That and I think he prays under his sweet breath.
He is so nervous he might actually touch me he will dart willy nilly in my way and we both stop short and look at each other. I should just say, "Ok kiss me now I know you want too", just to get it over with but there is probably some sort of harassment policy somewhere that I would have to use on him in the future just to keep my job.
If I look directly at him he cannot talk to me. So I stay in my office and yell for his comfort.
"Tim! My little gerbil. Stop sucking on your pop water bottle, and tell me where the incident reports are. I feel the need to fire someones ass!"
I will hear the sound of his chair squeak as he uncoils his long body and clump to the file cabinet at my command.
I will get him to swear by next week. Then swear his undieing love for me by payday.

The Man I Love With All My Heart Mike

I have fallen head over heels with a locksmith named Mike. Mike smells of steel and lubricant. He sits in my office dressed in workman's blues calibrating me through his horn rim glasses as he shares his sunflower seeds. He gauges me with the framed hazel eyes as he offers me his bag. I would feed this man anything he desires in the kitchen without him asking, with out his offer of snacks, he just does not know this yet.
"You really should stay here at this facility and not go to the other one. The people are nicer here at maximum security."
I want to stay right there with him, licking the salt off his secure lips.
"And you have to factor in the time it would take you to drive everyday up north."
I should of dished him up some breakfast at that point, but I was enjoying his coaxing too much to give it up so easy.
"No traffic heading out of town, Mmike."
I tell him he has the biggest keys I have ever seen as I stare at the ring hanging near his groin and I mean it.
"You play cribbage? You should come down to my office some afternoon and play."
I have pretended my codes are not working seven times in four days and can't get the image of naked board games in his dark office out of my mind.

The Man I Love With All My Heart

I have fallen head over heels in love with a district manager named Ralph. Ralph smells like coffee, letterhead, and advancement.
When Ralph and his steel grey every lock in place hair walks in my office my every orifice puckers.
"Do you have the numbers for this months food budget?" the Bill Clinton look alike will ask me as he takes off his leather coat and sets aside his breifcase.
"I think they are somewhere under the desk", I answer in a Monica Lewinsky voice in my head. But in real life all I say is "squeak" through lips pursed as if I had just swallowed a lemon drop.
"Are you alright?" my true love will inquire
"Wes! I answer not able to make my face right.
I am torn. I want my numbers to be so good he will use me for an example and give me a pat on my head. I want my numbers to be so bad he spanks my rosebud bottom.

The Man I Love With All My Heart

I have fallen head over heels in love with a bartender named George. George smells of charisma and rum. The best pina colada comes from George's skilled hands when he shakes it shakes it shakes it to the reggae beat for me. When I slip him a tip, George makes love to my hand. But he will only cater to my every whim between the hours of eight to close. I sit at the end of his bar with a fist full of dollars, empty as the steal drums that beat in my chest.

Oh no we don't

We do not confine any alqaeda talliban jihad terrorists at my maximum security facility. We do not confine any alquaeda talliban jihad terrorists at my maximum security facility. We do not confine any alquaeda talliban jihad terrorists at my maximum security facility. We do not confine any alquaeda talliban jihad terrorists at my maximum security facility.We do not confine any alqaeda talliban jihad terrorists at my maximum security facility. I put pig in their every meal. We do not confine any alquaeda talliban jihad terrorists at my maximum security facility. We do not confine any alqaeda talliban terrorists at my maximum security facility. We do not confine any alqaeda talliban terrorists at my maximum security facility.

The Man I love With All My Heart

I have fallen head over heels in love with a meterosexual Londoner named Owen. Owen smells of style and studders softly in the sexiest accent in the world.
"You are the biggest Jamaican I've found on the island yet!" I exclaim as he blocked me from my pina colada at the bar.
"I'm from the UK love", the coffee colored man replied reaching into his shoulder bag as he bought himself an energy drink and paid for my spiked slushy.
"Well welcome to the island" I answer besotton and a little drunk.
Owen taught me to dance like a girl with soul and I giggled when he said petrol or primary. I would pretend I could not hear him over the sound of club so he would have to repeat himself in my ear.
"Your absolutely gorgeous."
"What?"
"Aabsolutely g-gorgeous."
"Yes Owen, I will marry you", I answer shaking my back side as if I had one.
I slipped my number into his furry man purse and have not heard from him yet.